Crying Teachers, Musical Theater, and possible OCD

Ugh Gosh I have five minutes! Ok so today was crazy. It was the first day of new UA's although we still had Mr. Capone, today was our last day with him and he actually teared up! Never in a million years would i have tagged Mr. Capone as an emotional person! but you never know!We said good-bye to Mrs. Carpenter today too! I'm going to miss them sooo sooo much!  Musical theater was nerve-wracking! Have i ever mentioned i can't sing? well i made a musical and I CAN'T SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh and now i possibly have OCD! today while i was doing my homework i saw the mess i'm normally ok with and I CLEANED IT UP! I don't know why but i just feel like my life is spinning around and around and I can't hold on! Like one day I woke up from a dream and realized, hey this is my life! Why the heck is my room so messy? when did i get a broken heart. ooops i just realized no one knew that oh well it's not like i'm going into the details or anything.... have you ever felt this way? i did my laundry today, cleaned out my backpack. INCLUDING ALL THOSE LITTLE BROKEN PENCILS, PENS, ERASERS, GUM WRAPPERS, AND OTHER CRAP I had at the bottom of it. O gosh I am a messy person. Today when I went to the bathroom I looked into the mirror and thought: o wow did i really go out into public with my hair like this? it looked horrible! it's like some bad dream! Isn't that all the symptoms of OCD? or are they just the symptoms of reality? gosh i'm toooooo young for this! Don't you have to be like forty or something to have a mid-life crisis? UGH! WHAT IS OCD! Isn't it like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?If this is part of growing up I DON'T WANT TO! I'll just go back to being 10 and well 10. You know what! I'm afraid of so much. Even the thought of getting old SCARES ME TO DEATH! Of getting wrinkles or gray hair or old people skin or whatever it is that makes you sag and stuff. i'm freaked out by my life like some scaredy-cat! ugh...i just realized. it's been more than 5 minutes. ooops i hope no one reads this. in some ways this blog like replaces a diary. i keep one but i can type a heck of a lot faster than i can write. i write so sloppily when i try to go fast too. I have to learn more Norwegian before I forget what i've learned and i need to STUDY FOR THE SAT'S!!!!!!!!!! I'm taking them the 24th of this month! I HAVEN'T STUDIED BUT FOR LIKE 5 MIN! (yes i'm one of those 7th grade nerds that takes the SAT's for fun!) ok good nite. Yes i promise i'm done freaking out.... For tonight anyways...

EmmaRae